Shout and Swear, it can change your Depression Story
As human beings, we love to tell ourselves stories which mitigate against the true impact of reality.  I remember talking to an individual who had “found” her husband in bed with her “best friend.” When I asked her how she felt she said “not very good.” Clearly, since she believed she was in a loving relationship, there should have been hurt, anger, betrayal etc, but she had disassociated herself from the full emotional impact.
This same trait is in evidence with clients seeking assistance with depression. They have developed a story using conscious logic, which broadly explains the reasons they feel depressed e.g. “I don’t feel good enough, because I have always felt like a failure.” Viewing life through this prism allows them to slowly but surely formulate a depressive state and accompanying story.
It is critical that therapy, challenges this presupposition and the story an individual has come to believe, to facilitate a re-engagement with a client’s emotions so that they can be fully expressed again.
When you ask clients when they noticed they were depressed, a common reply is that it appeared to just happen almost overnight or that there was an event which triggered the depression. Clearly this is highly unlikely to be the case given the number of different and long term components necessary to maintain depression e.g. disassociation from your emotions, buried anger, the establishment an explanatory story, silence, resignation, fear/panic, tiredness, confusion, withdrawal etc
Depression is a choice we subconsciously make, when our access to our personal resources are inhibited or compromised. This is never justification for the statement “pull yourself together.” Therefore it is vital to identify and resolve the stages by which depression was established and to generate subconscious strategies to prevent its re-emergence once it has been fully dealt with.
Another key aspect is to identify those areas of our life which generate our passion(s) and to re-establish this link so that through passion and re-engagement with other people we are again able to move forward in life. Hypnotherapy and Coaching techniques provide the means to do this.
New Year, New You
It is that time again, when we feel that we should have a New Year’s resolution to give ourselves a new beginning. Sadly it is too easy to be swept along by the enthusiasm of our peers and an over reliance on the “wish” to succeed. There is, like many things in life, a need to plan the change we are seeking.
Whether you want to stop smoking or lose weight, decide the time you want to start from e.g. probably not a good idea to start to lose weight on Christmas or New Year’s Eve or to stop smoking before going to a party to celebrate the New Year. Chose a time when you are busy with as little stress as possible, accepting that some level of stress is inevitable. It is generally a mistake to wait for days off or a holiday because you then have the added problem of occupying your mind to avoid over thinking about the change you are seeking to make.
Look to anticipate the kinds of issues or problems you may encounter e.g. decrease in calories or loss of patience. There is a solution! Have a supply of healthy eating options e.g. fruit pieces, cut vegetable pieces etc. If you are concerned about a loss of patience with loved ones or colleagues, take a short time out break, complete a short exercise burst. If these are really impossible, practice breathing as deeply as you can for a couple of minutes. These strategies will assist you when you need to use them.
Generally you should avoid substitutes e.g. low calorie foods or patches as they delay the changes in your taste buds which are essential for long term weight loss or they elongate the dependency on nicotine.
A powerful tool is to take five minutes, ideally twice every day, to sit down with your eyes closed, breathe deeply and imagine yourself as the person who has lost weight or stopped smoking. You need to use your imagination to begin to feel proud of the change you have made, see yourself in different situations, hear the positive comments your friends and loved ones are making about you, imagine the impact of the change on your health, finances, choices etc.
If you find that after a few days or one or two weeks you are still struggling with the changes you want to make. Firstly congratulate yourself for making such a positive decision and staying with it without assistance.  However you should now consider the assistance of a professional hypnotherapist, who will assist you to uncover the emotional drivers for the problem and teach you hypnotic strategies to run your life in a more effective way thereby assisting you achieve success.
It is important that as a human being that throughout our lives we have benefited from help and assistance and addressing and achieving a New Year’s resolution is no different, so be proud of the decision you have made and the success you will achieve.
Imagine a better relationship
At times like Christmas or family gatherings or workplace functions etc we have to spend time with people who annoy us or make us angry or make us anxious. Learn a technique to re frame how you feel, change your reaction through greater understanding of the cause of our discomfort.